Just - For - Fun Corner
1.A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled-up and died.
"Now," he said, "what do you learn from this?" An eager student gave his answer.
"Well the answer is obvious," he said "if you drink alcohol, you'll never have worms."
2.As the lawyer slowly came out of the anesthesia after surgery, he said, "Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?"... "There's a big fire across the street," the doctor replied. "We didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."
3.Scene: Pharmacy. Foster is looking at the shelves. A woman approaches him....
Woman: Can I help you sir?
Foster: I'd like to see the registered pharmacist.
Woman: I'm a registered pharmacist, and so is my sister. We own the store.
Foster: Well . . . I guess you can help me. I've had this tremendous erection for two weeks and nothing I do will get rid of it. What can you give me for it?
Woman: That's a rather unusual problem. I'll have to consult with my sister.... (She goes into the back room and returns a few minutes later)...
Woman: How about $5000 and half the business?
4.Herman the hypochondriac began sobbing before a doctor. "I'm sure I've got a liver disease, and I'm gonna die from it."... "Ridiculous," said the doctor. "you'd never know if you had the disease or not. With that ailment there's no discomfort of any kind."... "Right," said Herman, "those are my exact symptoms."
5.Hedrick and Douglas, two doctors, were conversing in front of the hospital when two really attractive blondes came towards them.... "Here comes my wife and my girlfriend," said Hedrick.... "That's odd," said Douglas. "I was just gonna say the same thing to you."
6.Number of physicians in the US: 700,000..... Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year: 120,000..... Accidental deaths per physician... 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services) ... Number of gun owners in the US: 80,000,000..... Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups) 1,500..... Accidental deaths per gun owner: 0.0000188 ... Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners. ...
"FACT: Not everyone has a gun, but everyone has at least one Doctor."
... Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand. ... As a Public Health Measure I have withheld the statistics on Lawyers for fear that the shock could cause people to seek medical aid.
7.Three doctors are waiting for St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. When he arrives, he asks the first doctor "Why should you be allowed into heaven?"... The first doctor replied, "I spent my whole career in medical research and made life better for thousands."... St. Peter seemed immpressed and said, "C'mon in, you are worthy."... He then asked the same thing to the second doctor who answered, "I renounced riches to work with the poor and made lives better for thousands." ... St. Peter again seemed impressed and invited the second doctor inside.... When he asked the third doctor what he had done, the doctor answered, "I worked for a very large and succcessful HMO."... St. Peter said to the doctor, "You may enter but you can only
8.While on a tour conducted by the Head Nurse, the new hospital Administrator happened to glance into a patient's room. He was shocked to see a nurse giving the patient a hand job!... "What's going on in there!?", he demanded.... After glancing into the room, the Head Nurse replied, "Oh, that. That patient has a very rare condition. He must ejaculate every hour, or he'll die!"... Though somewhat irregular, the Administrator realized that he had seen stranger things in his time, so he continued the tour without further comment.... But when he looked into another room further down the hall and saw a nurse giving a patient a blow job, he exploded.... "And what the hell is going on in there!?", he yelled.... The Head Nurse looked into the room and calmly replied, "Oh that patient has the same disorder, but he has better insurance."
